What’s happening to today’s men? In this eye-opening and deeply personal episode, Callie, Cole and Mecca dive into the quiet crisis unfolding for modern men. From school systems and dating culture to shifting gender roles and emotional isolation, they explore the cultural crossroads where today’s men find themselves. How do we even define what strength and masculinity even mean in 2025?
Inspired by The Diary of a CEO episode with Scott Galloway and Logan Ury, the TMAM trio digs into the messy, emotional and often contradictory world of modern manhood. Are we raising boys to fail? Are dating apps making connection harder than ever? And why does progress for one group so often feel like loss for another?
10,000-Foot View of this Episode:
- Gender roles are shifting rapidly: Women are ascending in education and earnings, while young men are falling behind in school, employment and emotional health.
- The overcorrection of feminism? The group wrestles with the idea that in celebrating women's progress, society may have inadvertently diminished men. Instead of bringing women up to join men as equals, did we push men down in the process? The conversation explores how empowerment doesn’t have to be a zero-sum game.
- Dating app disasters: With bleak swipe statistics and impossible expectations, modern dating is skewing heavily against men. Logan Ury’s advice to give second dates a shot sparks conversation.
- SEEKING: "Tall, rich, politically aligned unicorns only!" Social filters and expectations are shrinking the dating pool to near-extinction for everyday guys. From unrealistic height and income filters to viral TikToks about finding a “man in finance, 6’5, blue eyes,” dating expectations are more skewed than ever. Logan Ury’s data shows men are swiping hundreds of times just to get one match—if that match even responds. Women’s standards keep narrowing, creating a shrinking pool of “acceptable” men and leaving the rest out in the cold.
- Defining (and redefining) masculinity: What does “emasculation” actually mean? Can a man wear pearls, cross-dress and still be masculine? Cole shares personal moments where he’s felt emasculated, even if only by a frisbee. They explore how phrases like “man up” and jokes about taking someone's “man card” reinforce unhealthy standards and discourage emotional honesty.
- The problem with saying “boys will be boys”: Cole bluntly calls out the difference between harmless antics and excusing harmful behavior under the gendered cliché.
- Boys in Crisis: From a lack of male teachers to schools designed for female learning styles, boys are struggling from an early age. The team discusses how the system doesn’t accommodate boys’ developmental needs, how the absence of male role models affects identity and how emotional expression is often stifled in boys but expected in adult men. The consequences ripple into adulthood.
- Emotional Intelligence & Brotherhood: Creating Space for Men to Show Up
The conversation turns toward what could help men thrive—from Logan Ury’s story of monthly men’s groups focused on vulnerability and accountability, to Cole’s more casual but meaningful disc golf outings. The TMAM crew explores how emotional intelligence, community and intentional connection could be key ingredients in helping men feel seen, supported and whole.
- Redefining (or Retiring?) Masculinity The group wrestles with the elusive concept of modern masculinity. Is it strength? Responsibility? Vulnerability? Intelligence (intellectual vs. emotional)? As the conversation unfolds, it becomes clear that a single definition might not cut it anymore. Maybe it’s not about rigid gender roles at all—but about striving to be better humans, regardless of labels.
- A Weird Thought: Should We Redshirt Boys in Kindergarten? In a world where boys are statistically falling behind in school, we discuss a provocative idea—what if we started them a year later, like redshirting in sports? The trio explores whether this unconventional approach might better align with boys’ developmental timelines and set them up for long-term success. Or would it leave them more socially disjointed? Do these risks outweigh the rewards of disrupting the traditional education timeline?
Memorable Quotes:
- "'Boys Will Be Boys' is jumping off of the shed trying to use a trash bag as a parachute. Boys Will Be Boys is racing your car down the highway and getting a speeding ticket. It is not raping women." – Cole
- “Good Lord, if you hold me to everything that I utter out of my mouth…I'm going to get in a lot of trouble.” – Mecca
- “We have created an environment that is not conducive for the different sexes to thrive.” – Callie
- "If you've got two levels, you had men here and women were here, it should have been bringing women up to meet the men instead of bringing the men down to meet the women." – Cole
- “Our definition of masculinity isn't really cutting it anymore. It is such a weak definition between everybody of what that means.” – Mecca
- “We're judging men based on whether or not they're six feet tall. Their whole character is judged based on that 90 second clip, that 180 character bio and we're missing out on great men.” – Callie
- "We are making it more difficult for ourselves to communicate with each other because of the vagueness, how vague our language has become." – Cole
- “I really wanted y'all to fail while you were at home so that you had somebody to support you when you did.” – Mecca
- “I think that there is such a stigma around being tough and being manly and being macho that anything that strays from exactly that "macho" definition makes you a girl.” – Callie
Resources Mentioned:
- The Diary of a CEO episode with Scott Galloway and Logan Ury (YouTube)
- "When Someone You Love Is Upset, Ask This One Question" by Jancee Dunn for the New York Times
Call to Action:
We want to hear from you—especially the men listening. What’s your definition of masculinity in 2025? Have you ever felt like society expects too much or too little from you based on your gender? And for our women listeners, what are the expectations you’ve been taught to look for? Let’s keep this conversation going. Share your thoughts with us on Instagram @TwoMillennialsAndMom or email us at tmampod@gmail.com. And don’t forget to rate, review and share the podcast—especially with the good men in your life.
No comments yet. Be the first to say something!