031: The Happiness Equation: Grit, Gratitude & the Truth About Joy

Is happiness a destination, a choice or just a chemical reaction to cookies? In this uplifting (and brutally honest) episode, Callie, Mecca and Cole dive into what it really means to be happy. Drawing from ancient philosophy, cutting-edge research and their own life experiences, they explore the difference between fleeting pleasures and lasting joy. From the Harvard 80-year study to the power of gratitude, they unpack why happiness isn’t something you stumble into—it’s something you practice. And yes, there's a quiz. Because what’s joy without a little corny game show music?

 

10,000-Foot View of this Episode:

• Hedonia vs. Eudaimonia: What Kind of Happy Are You? Callie kicks off the episode by breaking down the two classic types of happiness—hedonia, the quick-hit pleasure you get from a dessert or a TikTok binge and eudaimonia, the deeper satisfaction that comes from meaning, purpose and values. Cole and Mecca explore how both show up in real life and why lasting joy requires more than just feel-good moments.
• The Secret to a Long Life? Relationships: The Harvard Study of Adult Development (the longest-running study on happiness) found that strong, healthy relationships—not money, not cholesterol—are the best predictor of longevity and well-being. Mecca shares how even bickering couples with trust outlive those with surface-level peace and Cole reflects on how connection gives us reasons to care for ourselves.
• Optimism Isn't Magic—It's a Muscle: A Mayo Clinic study found that optimists live longer, have lower rates of disease and cope better with stress. But optimism isn’t just a personality trait—it’s a skill you can build. Callie shares re-framing tricks like “Think This, Not That,” and the team talks about choosing positive self-talk and building habits that support a healthier, more hopeful mindset.
• Does Money Make You Happy? Yes… But Only a Little: In a game-show-style quiz, Callie busts myths around wealth and happiness. While money can help up to a baseline (around $75K/year), more doesn’t equal more joy. Rich people still struggle with loneliness and depression and experiences consistently bring more happiness than stuff. The team discusses the “hedonic treadmill” and how lifestyle creep can sabotage our joy.
• Grit, Purpose and the Joy of Doing Hard Things: Happiness isn't always easy—it often comes from pushing through discomfort. Cole shares a personal example from gaming (yes, really) that illustrates how challenge and perseverance deliver deeper satisfaction. The group also reflects on Angela Duckworth’s concept of “grit” and why talent alone doesn’t cut it—purpose and passion matter more.
• Small Kindnesses, Big Impact: From paying for a coffee to offering a heartfelt compliment, the smallest acts of kindness can create lasting ripples. Mecca shares a moving story about a child who was planning to end his life—until someone helped him pick up his books. The group discusses how these moments of connection are often the most meaningful and how kindness is both healing and free.

 

Memorable Quotes:

• "Those dopamine hits are a drug." – Cole
• “Don't you think that anything in life that you have to work for, you feel better about?” – Mecca
• “The point is to spend time in your community doing things, experiencing things that you love, that bring you joy.” – Callie
• "Look at every interaction as an opportunity instead of a chore, that can change your whole perspective and changing your perspective can make a world of difference." – Cole
• “I think we do get in a habit of saying no to things. And maybe we need to be more open to saying, let me try that.” – Mecca
• “Social media is the highlight reel; not the movie of someone's life.” – Callie
• "Be relentless in your search for solutions because there is no better feeling than saving the day." – Cole
• “I just don't think people want to think about happiness being hard.” – Mecca
• “I think that gratitude is so much more powerful than many of us assume. And then once you start practicing it, it's life changing.” – Callie

 

Resources Mentioned:

• The Harvard Study of Adult Development has tracked people for over 80 years and found that strong relationships are the most important factor in long-term health and happiness.
• A 30-year Mayo Clinic study showed that optimism is linked to lower disease rates and longer life expectancy.
• Psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky’s book The How of Happiness outlines how 40% of our happiness is within our control through intentional habits. (affiliate link)
• Angela Duckworth’s Grit explores how passion and perseverance are more predictive of success than talent alone. (affiliate link)
• In The Algebra of Happiness, Scott Galloway shares candid insights on success, love, money and meaning. (affiliate link)
• World Happiness Report: A global ranking of happiness by country, based on metrics like well-being, trust and social support.
• Elden Ring is the game Cole mentioned that was notoriously difficult and rewarding (affiliate link)
• Tiny Kindnesses: A social media account sharing real stories of small acts of kindness and their lasting impact.
• Country artist Chris Janson’s music video for Buy Me a Boat from our discussion about whether money can buy happiness—or just the tools to enjoy it with others.

 

What does happiness look like for you? This week, practice one small act of kindness, write down three things you’re grateful for and reframe one negative thought. Tag us @TwoMillennialsAndMom and tell us how it goes! Let's keep choosing joy—on purpose.